Two years
ago , I ended our relationship which lasted almost four years. Two years of
friendship and commitment for two years. People and even his families against
with us because of the 10 years age gap, but who cares, I loved him! I made
this decision and I think it is best cos I am happy.
I love
him! Infact, my feelings never changed.
I loved
him with all my heart. I changed myself to be matured one.
But like
they say, good things come to an end. I remember a quote from 500 days of
Summer, “Some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to
be together” It’s been a roller-coaster
ride, I should say.
I broke up with him and it was the hardest decision I’ve made. The past couple
of weeks were very challenging for us. There are times when I couldn’t
understand him anymore.
There were so many issues, to name a few: I haven’t met his parents yet; he has
so many plans and I’m not even part of it; he will work abroad but he never
gave me an assurance that it would be us until the end; his friends don’t like
me and I felt like he doesn’t care.
Well I guess he has his own reasons. But whatever his reasons are, I would find
them hard to understand. I only want simple things in life; I only want him to
stand up for me especially that he’s leaving the country soon. But I think he
doesn’t know the word EFFORT.
He was so busy thinking about
his future that he forgot to include me in his plans. But who am I to complain?
He had everything planned before he met me and unluckily for me, he is so
focused and no one can ever come between him and his goals in life, not even
me.
When I texted him that I’m setting him free, guess what? Without any objections
or hesitations, he said okay.
So I guess I was right. He loved m,e but not the same way that I do. It’s like
he’s stabbing me with a knife straight to my heart and killing me slowly. The
pain is just so hard to bear. I've been crying for hours now and I don’t know
how long I’ll be like this.
I wish there was a pain killer that would help me ease the pain. All the
happiness was replaced by so much pain and sadness. I don’t know how to tell my
family and friends about our breakup because they thought that our love was strong
and that we were a perfect couple.
It hurts so much and I feel like there’s nothing left for me to cry. I feel so
broken, my heart is being squeezed and I can't breathe. How I wish there’s a
time machine. I want to fast-forward the time because I know only time can heal
the pain.
Maybe God wanted me to feel
this pain. At the end of the day, there’s always a lesson learned. I am so weak
and vulnerable right now, but I know someday this experience will make me
strong. So for now, I will focus on myself and my dreams because I kind of lost
my focus during the two years of us being together.
My whole world revolved around him that I forgot I should love myself too. I
will keep myself busy doing things that I’d love to do and enjoy life to the
fullest.
A year from now, I want to see myself fully recovered from heartaches and
when I read this note, I’ll simply laugh about
it and tell myself "You are a better person now–no more heartaches and
always be happy."
